This Lent, my family is participating in Operation Rice Bowl. The other night, I was explaining the project to my husband who was looking over the packet.
“Corn porridge with spicy vegetables? What’s that all about?” he asked.
“Oh yeah,” I responded, “Well each week they give you a recipe from the country that’s featured there, and we’re supposed to eat that. But, we’re not doing that. I mean, corn porridge and spicy vegetables? There’s no way that would ever fill me up and satisfy me for dinner!”
I later thought more about this and realized I was missing the whole point. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice one meal of what I thought would be filling and satisfying in order to act in solidarity with those who may not ever be filled or satisfied in the way I am accustomed to. This got me thinking about my ability to sacrifice for others.
I stared thinking about my marriage, a place where sacrificial love is crucial for success. I thought of my sweet husband who sacrifices with amazing humility and graciousness. He sacrifices without thinking twice and without letting anyone know. He is willing to sacrifice so completely that he oftentimes makes any sacrifice on my part unnecessary. So most of the time I get to go on my merry way, not even realizing everything he is sacrificing for me.
And those times that I do sacrifice for my husband, oh boy, he never hears the end of it! Before the sacrifice, during the sacrifice, and long after the sacrifice, I’ll let my husband know exactly what it’s costing me and how much I’ve been inconvenienced. The more I thought about my sacrifices, the more I struggled to think of examples that didn’t involve a sacrifice that was done on my terms and in my way. All I could think of were pseudo-sacrifices which still left me comfortable and not too much inconvenienced. Do I truly know what it means to sacrifice?
If I struggle to find clear examples of my sacrificial love in my marriage, dare I even examine the sacrificial love I have for Jesus? He who has sacrificed so perfectly for me, am I even trying to demonstrate a true sacrificial love for Him?
In any case, I have over five weeks left in Lent to practice, and I have to let my husband know that we’re having corn porridge and spicy vegetables for dinner this week.
I like to cook and corn porridge and spicy vegetables sounds very interesting. With that said, I just wanted to offer a gentle and friendly comment.
Our relationship with Jesus is not separate from our relationship with our family or community. Jesus offered His parable of the Last Judgment to make the point.
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“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne,
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and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
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He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
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Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
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For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me,
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naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’
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Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
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When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
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When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’
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And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’
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Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
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For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
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a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.’
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Then they will answer and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?’
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He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’
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And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (Matt 25v31-46).
Your relationship with your husband (which sounds wonderful) is your relationship with Jesus. Your sacrifices for the love of your husband are your sacrifices for the love of Jesus.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Jesus gave a synposis of what a child of God ought to do. It’s gentle and possible.
In Matthew Chapters 5-7 the Lord gives us the Sermon on the Mount. He sums up the Sermon this way….
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“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
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The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
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And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
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The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.” (Matt 7v 24-28)
By the way, last Sunday for reasons of logistics I went to Liturgy twice. The second Liturgy was at St. Mary’s in Pompton Lakes. The pastor offered a simple family Lenten program for consideration. Families were asked to save 50 cents a day…cutting back on coffee for instance… and the money saved would be collected in a big wicker basket at church and the funds given to the poor. 50 cents a day, $3,50 week…times the number of registered families in the parish was a huge sum.
I decided to give up a soda at lunch and give part of the proceeds to Operation Rice Bowl and 50 cents towards this project. I drink water at lunch and came to realize what a gift from God fresh water was.
Just another idea for Lent. Be at peace an enjoy the Corn porridge.